Worried Hope

(started May 30, 2020; completed May 25, 2021 — the year of George Floyd et al)

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

I worry

…and then I hope

I worry that the pain of whiteness

seeks healing through the destruction of blackness

I worry that the pain of blackness diminishes our growth

And then I hope

I worry that guns allowed in our houses of government

lead to guns in our houses of worship

And then I hope

I worry that power and party are more important than citizens and the constitution

But then I hope

I worry that those in power think justice equals just us

But then I hope

I worry that Black and Brown mothers cannot protect their sons and daughters from those who protect and serve

I worry that Black and Brown communities don’t see ourselves in Asian and Jewish communities and vice versa

But then I hope

I worry that we don’t care about the other

I worry that we see an other

And then I hope

I worry that there is a crisis of compassion

I worry that we don’t know the definition of compassion

And then I hope

I worry that we don’t worry enough about the earth

I worry we don’t realize there’s enough on the earth

And then I hope

I worry that we will only meet people where they are

instead of leading them where they need to be

But then I hope

I worry that I cannot separate worry from hope

I worry that for me hope is a feeling versus a decision

I worry that I’m too naively hopeful

But then I hope